“If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.” Isa7:9

“Do not call conspiracy everything that these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary;” Isa 8:12-14

Dear Saints and Aints.

Shalom.

Fading with the fading light of the day is the laughter of happy kids, still at play, wafting across the playground - a Hallelujah Chorus - making up in joy what it lacks in majesty; expressing their gratitude - with laughter - in an ode to God!

Though the noise hasshifted to the dorms and school for studies, I am conscious that I am an island in a sea of kids. Unlike the recluse who hides himself in a cave to commune with God, I choose living among the multitudes for that same purpose. “What you did to the least of these my brethren” has no meaning to the recluse as he doesn’t think Jesus has any – apart from himself … But as for me…

I admit, there are times I wish I was a stone statue in a busy bazaar that unmoved by all that is going on around it, unconcerned by the laughter – cloaking fears; unaffected by the weather calmly stands there pointing a finger, not to the future but to somewhere in the middle distance, and a little plaque at the bottom of the pedestal that admonishes dogs, and humans thus inclined to, “Do it over there!”  

Besides an island I think of myself as an oasis or a garden where kids can grow up in a protected environment like so many flowers, shrubs or trees till they can manage on their own; though if flowers they be there are some, who, even after a bath, smell like the stuff the gardener uses to make them grow. But, no pun intended, they will outgrow that too – after all, I did.

Our facilities, in an increasingly beautiful setting, cater to all aspects of their life. The hostel looks after their bodies; the school and computer Institute prepare them for life and a job, and the church - those who thus choose – for eternal life; bringing tribal kids, village kids, slum kids and some who formerly were deemed by society untouchables – in touch with Jesus Christ – in touch with God.

How do we manage all that? Like everybody else I am bombarded via TV, Internet, newspaper, and letters from the office and from the saints with the news that the economy is bad and we should hunker down. Bapu’s ominous comments about our declining income and our increasing expenses give credence to the information received from various sources. But, to paraphrase Tertullian a 2nd century Church Father:

“What has the Kingdom of God to do with Wall Street?”

Consider this: Though in the West –the economy was OK ... Here - when I came to India on my own in January 1976, the few kids and I lived in the city; there were times I had to sell old newspapers and tins to feed my family for a day – I ate the same food.   

Though in the West –the economy was OK ... Here - when we started at the present home a check got lost in the mail and for almost three months we prayed in our daily bread (not that we don’t do now) and lived by the mercy of our Indian friends.

Though in the West –the economy was OK ... Here - as we grew as a family – we often lived under appalling conditions lacking almost everything – I shared these conditions.

Though in the West –the economy was OK ...  Here - there were times when I wept bitterly; once I remember resting my head on the water tap for support, I poured out my desperation to God because we had debts, we couldn’t get food, the kids had to walk for hours to school.

Though in the West –the economy was OK ... Here - there were times when I wanted to beg my friends in Canada for help; asking them to send money because the situation looked so desperate. I couldn’t bring myself to do so. How could I insult God by telling the world, “My Father doesn’t help us?” Still it was difficult!

Though in the West –the economy was O K ... Here - some mornings at 4 am I would wake up in the throes of an anxiety attack that would certify me for the mental hospital – because I didn’t know how we could carry on. I didn’t know how to make it through another day.

Though in the West –the economy was OK ... Here - we are living through one economic depression after another...

Now – I don’t give a dime about the economy anymore!

Amazingly, during these intervening tumultuous years we not only survived but thrived; we have grown in numbers, we built big structures; we improved the quality of life of our kids; we expanded our ministry and extended our help to those in need. Somebody called me “an amazing man” I am not an amazing man. But it nice to be told so anyhow … In fact it is my very ordinariness that makes this place so extra-ordinary – because God is proving Himself here!

I am certainly not above fears. When that persecution of Christians took place some time back and started to spread, I got that incredible urge to run and hide. It disappeared as fast as it came. The fact is – it came! Then some days ago Bapu told me, “Tomorrow morning at 10 am we have a meeting to discuss finances.” My heart sank. That I got over it just as quickly means nothing. I had been afraid! The next morning he showed the raise he has planned for the staff…

Bapu is doing well and partly so because he adheres to Woodrow Wilson’s dictum:

“I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.”

Hence the work goes on. By the 6th of August they will pour the concrete slab on the clinic which – once completed will be a beautiful building; an ambulance has been added to our fleet which at present consists of an old pickup truck and a tractor; Bapu’s car – forever unsafe after the accident – repairs or no repairs – is still being fixed. The playground for the wee fellows with all the new equipment – some deem dangerous - is next to the clinic – a wise choice of location…

At the latest count we have some 670 boys at Nagpur, 50 boys somewhere else; the girls’ home groans under the load of 423 girls. Our school has about a thousand students; the computer Institute is busy from 8.30 am till 9.00 pm and – still not enough time to accommodate every kid.

If not outside I work at my computer. I am often questioned, “Do the endless hours and days spent on a single newsletter or making a DVD or calendar - pay?” In ministry you cannot reduce everything, if anything, to money! Ministry is about blessing others and I am sure that as we bless others they will bless us should the opportunity arise and resources become available. Our place is proof of that!

In closing … I concur with Gertrude Stein’s wise observation that -

“ Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone.”

Hence, please, consider my letters and other communications an expression of our gratitude to you!

 Saint Francis, Bapu, Yohan and assorted Saintlets